There’s always a battle that people don’t see.

Some people may think that when you say ‘Yes’ to follow Jesus, every single trouble and burden in your life would magically turn into rainbows. Well, it doesn’t work that way. In my experience so far, there are burdens that you can deal with within minutes. There are burdens that you have to deal with within weeks. There are burdens that you have to deal with within years. There are also burdens that you have to carry.

In Matthew 16, Jesus said “Take up your cross and follow me.” It is true then, that there are some burdens that we have to carry. We can’t just leave it someplace and abandon it. We cannot act like babies who would throw tantrums. He expects maturity and for us to take responsibility. We need to be strong. Our strength can be build but it won’t last forever. That’s why we need God’s strength because His strength is constant.

Lately, I got more and more anxious and I felt panic attacks started to creep in again. It’s been more than two years since my last episode. I cried for the Lord’s help out of fear but this time, it was more like, I acknowledge that I am scared but I know what armor I should be wearing, what sword I should pick up. I know God will show up in the middle of this and He will fight for me. He spoke to me and gave me comfort through the people around me. I am grateful because I have Him as my strength. It is hard to be vulnerable but it is easier to receive the fullness of God in this state.

Saying ‘Yes’ to follow Jesus requires a constant decision to get up, pick up the cross, willing to deny yourself. So, decide to rejoice today, I decide to praise and be grateful today, my burdens will not dictate my future and calling. Whatever it is I face, nothing is stronger than God. God will reign victorious!

“The Lord is my light and my salvation— so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?” Psalms‬ ‭27:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬