“You look so ‘sure’ when you’re leading.”

I am in fact never sure. I am never sure of my skills. I am never sure whether I can hit certain notes. I am never sure on what to say, even when I have already planned it. I am never sure whether I can read the congregation. I am never sure.

I am never sure of anything while I’m still off stage and on standby.

It’s hard to concentrate because I would be so anxious. Sometimes I get nauseous, have sweaty palms, have shortness of breath. I would always try to calm myself down and yet fail to keep my composure. It is very hard to fight off the fears.

Most of the time I would try and remind myself of the one message God gave me before my ministry. Usually it’s just one word, or an image, or a scripture, or one line from a song. I would hold on to that.

Seconds before I go up to sing or speak, I would always have my little pep talk with God. “OK, let’s do it, Lord,” as I take my first step to the stage. This is what I am sure of. That He is with me and always have my back. My own thoughts die down and I gain clarity as I lead. I start to feel less nervous because I can really feel His presence when we worship Him together. I am also sure that when I sing His Word, God is moving, touching people’s hearts.

I am never sure when I lean on myself. My assurance is in God.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Thank you, Feast Conference for an amazing, spirit-filled conference.